Life at medical college has been very challenging so far, and keeps getting increasingly challenging everyday. Exam is one month away and I guess everybody is starting to feel the heat of the examination.
Although, many people like to do medicine as a child, I find studying medicine is a painful experience, it’s not my thing and I suck at it big time. Medicine is just too static, there is nothing innovative you can do in it, there is no sense of achievement, the thing is if you have studied then you know the answer to the questions, if you didn’t study then you don’t know the answer, there is not option like “I can work out and find the answer” in medicine.
Although I knew that I suck at medicine , I couldn’t find the answer why I hated medicine. I know I hated medicine but didn’t know why, I just did. Recently my brother asked help from me for some chemistry problems that were hard for him to solve and I took the challenge of doing that. It took me some time to work out the answers because I have’t done chemistry after I left school. However, I managed to solve the problems and I found answer to the problem why I suck at medicine.
When I finished the chemistry problem, I had a feeling, a feeling I had when I was schooling. It was a happy feeling but it was more than just plain happy, it had something that can’t be expressed by words. It was the feeling of achievement, I had to work hard and think hard to find the answer and at the end I can say it that it’s my answer, I figured it out by myself. If someone is passionate in doing something it’s because he enjoys doing it, there is a sense of achievement in hid work, this drives him forward in what he does.
However, I realized that there is no such thing as a feeling of achievement in medicine. This makes me hate medicine more and more because there is not happiness in doing medicine. All you get at the end of the day is stress, nothing else. I think this is why I suck in medicine. I think because of this everyday I do medicine it makes me hate medicine more and more. Sometimes I get the feeling that medicine has ruined my life and I should have done something else. I think it’s the feeling of regret.
I never wanted to do medicine from the beginning, all I wanted to do was pass the Advanced Level examination and do my higher education in some other area where I like, the results were better that what I expected and here I am at medical college. Everything happened to me because of luck.
You cramp up books, you fill your head with things that you can’t even remember. Face an exam and score marks. So what’s the achievement in that? You don’t have to use your brain one bit to finding answers, only thing you need is memorizing what’s in the book. I now feel anyone can do medicine all you need to have is the ability to memorize everything. You don’t need anything else to do medicine.
However, running away from the problem is not the answer, running away from the challenge is easy and anyone can do that, but facing the challenge is better and challenging the challenge is far better. So I;m going to take studying medicine as a challenge and I’m going to challenge the challenge. And if I survive then it’s awesome, if I fail it won’t matter either because I gave my 100% and there is nothing more I can give.
You might think differently than me and very well feel that I’m mad, Yes I know that’s just me.